Get them to dance?
This time last year, Vicky and I were invited to attend a production of contemporary dance at the Theater Royal in Winchester. This invite came through our friend Barbara and the main reason for accepting was that one of the dance directors was Barbara's niece, Hannah De Cancho - a professional dancer and choreographer in her own right. Now, both Vicky and I enjoyed stage arts and live production and so this was never going to be a hardship...we thought. But, then we learned that the dance workshop - part of the Wessex Dance Academy - that Hannah had been working with, was made up of young men and women who were within the care of Hampshire County Council and the Wessex Youth Offending Team. These were vulnerable and disadvantaged kids that most people would write off at first glance. Kids that had found themselves on the wrong side of the law and societal expectation once (or more) too often.
If I am honest, my expectation from that point on was that this would be something akin to a 'High School' jaunt. A handful of enthusiastic amateurs hoofing across a stage. And we, as the patronising audience, would applaude and show our appreciation of their well intentioned, if painfully executed, attempts at 'art'! I should have known better - not just of Hannah and her colleagues, but of the resilience and resourcefulness of humanity.
The Theater Royal, on that night, was a full house. Rubbing shoulders were local dignitaries from Hampshire County and Winchester City Councils, families - there to support their errent offspring and siblings - and a smattering of people like Vicky and me - there either in second level support or out of voyeuristic interest.
The house went dark, the curtain rose and the evening began with a video of the performers in rehearsal. To the strains of Bruno Mars' 'The Lazy Song', we saw Hannah and the other dance directors, cajoling, negotiating and often dragging recalcitrant delinquents into the rehearsal room. Just about every teenager stereotype was portrayed by these kids. But, they had chosen to be there! Over the following 20 minutes, we were shown a montage of the progression from the apathetic to the engaged, interspersed with interviews with the dancers that gave a brief, but telling, insight into the world in which these young people lived.
One young woman stood out to me in particular. When she said 'The only time my parents have seen me in public has been in court!' I started to understand the poignance of what was unfolding. These were 'Juvenile delinquents', but they were also people! They had feelings, hopes and aspirations just like the rest of us. They simply had the misfortune to have not had the same advantages and privileges that many of us take for granted and to be young enough that they felt excluded from that privileged world and saw kicking against it as the only way through.
By the end of the film, I was already starting to think that something extraordinary was about to unfold. I remember noticing that Vicky and I were holding hands; not looking at each other for fear that we might not contain the rising emotion. We were sat in the front row with the expectation we were about to jump from a cliff!
After a brief pause, the real show began. What transpired was simply inspirational. In the space of three weeks, Hannah and her colleagues had taken this blank canvas and created a masterpiece of creative excellence. The performance was highly professional, artistically astute and polished. The stage was filled with an energy that spilled over into the audience. The knowledge gained from watching the video added to the awe. Now, I don't profess to be an art critic, but I found it next to impossible to equate, in my own head, the disparity between my expectation and my experience. Had I not known the beginning of this story, I would have been happy to believe that these were professional dancers.
When the piece ended, there was a deserved standing ovation. By this time, I had tears in my eyes! I looked at Vicky, so, too, did she. We looked around at the rest of the audience and saw that we were not remotely alone in showing our emotion. On the stage, the troupe formed a line to bow to the audience. Many of them were also crying, others were punching the air in triumph. The strength of emotion in the auditorium was palpable. Whatever plaudits may be given to the directors, these young people had just pulled off the coup of their lifetime.
Vicky was already aware that, with budgets being squeezed, future funding for this project was at risk. She also knew that, though she wasn't a decision maker, her positive comments in the right ears could only serve to support the future viability of the project and the academy. It would be disingenuous to suggest that Vicky's input was pivotal. Perhaps the project had dancing leg of its own all along. However, the project was granted further funding and, twelve months later, we are seeing the fourth cohort of dancers graduate from the academy. Some of the original dancers have continued to pursue successful artistic careers and should be watched with interest by anyone who follows contemporary dance.
In tribute to Vicky's support of the Wessex Dance Academy, the performance on the 29th May 2012 has been dedicated to her memory. Vicky's modesty would have made her shy away from this limelight. However, her unerring faith in the goodness of people and her belief in the responsibility of those 'with' to support those 'without' was something that undoubtably helped and influenced the right people to make the right decision at the right time.
For Vicky and myself, I would like to thank Wessex Dance Academy for remembering Vicky at this performance and I would like to wish all of the performers every success, what ever their future should bring. To everyone else I would like to say, never underestimate the positive power of the human condition. Everybody has a valid view of their world, embrace the differences that colour and flavour our lives.
http://www.dance-united.com/2012/05/wessex-dance-academy-present-momentum/
http://hannahdecancho.co.uk/HANNAH_DE_CANCHO/Home.html
...and so Rosie enters my life! "Who is Rosie?" I hear you ask! Well, she actually came to live with me a week ago, but we kept it a bit secret. Rosie is 10 years my junior and is a flame redhead with attitude! She has wonderful curves, most of which are natural, but she's also a bit rough around the edges and showing her age, if I'm honest. I would be lying if I said she goes like the clappers! In fact she is more 'slow and steady' and you have to stroke her and speak nicely to get her to go anything like uphill. She needs working on, but with a little bit of polish and care, I hope to be able to introduce her to polite company in the not too distant future. I have had quite a few friends, male and female, that have said they would be more than happy to help me knock her into shape. I think that is mainly because they are expecting to get a ride, if you ask me!! However, I have to keep my wits about me, she is expensive to keep, will break down in public, without the slightest provocation and attracts the attention of all sorts of enthusiastic admirers! But I love her and plan to spend a fair bit of the summer inside her.
Oh! Didn't I say! Rosie is a 1972 Late Bay Volkswagen Campervan. I have bought her with my great friends Barbara and Freya and we intend sprucing her up over the coming weeks and having some summer fun camping, doing festivals and getting to see friends and family. She is really an 'unfinished project'. Structurally and engine wise, Rosie is very much up and together. However, she needs a pretty good makeover. She is currently making my arms ache like b*****y where I'm trying to make the best of a bad paint job. She looks good in the pictures, but was poorly re-sprayed. So I'm learning the art of 'wet and dry' and 'cutting in'. Internally, she is a bit of a mess and needs just about everything replacing. So we plan to strip her out and just about start from scratch. I think the term that best describes where we are going with this is 'pimp my ride'!!
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| Freya & Rosie |
So, it looks like my 'garden' leave is turning into 'garage workshop' leave. Our first big outing is to be a camping trip later in June. Therefore, we have to get our skates on to get Rosie presentable. We have, of course, taken the precaution of subscribing to a breakdown/recovery service. For as much as I want to have faith in Rosie's abilities to carry me around this sceptered isle...I don't. Everyone I have met with a VDUB has told me, usually with an ironically beaming smile, she'll always be breaking down on you and you'll never make it to where you're going...but isn't it great!!! I fear that I, too, will turn into one of those, rather weird but, enthusiastically blinded nutters.
For all of her faults, Rosie is already becoming a part of the family. Wherever I take her people look and smile. Everyone comments on how they would love to have one like her and wish that they, too, could just take off into the sunset. I'm hoping that this will be the start of something new and exciting in my life and that I, now have Rosie in it, will become the subject of VWE (VolkWagen Envy!! - why what else did you think I was going to talks about!! Tsk tsk!)
Well, I think I may have given myself a mountain of expectation to climb with this blog. I hope I don't disappoint!
So here I am, the first day of the rest of my life (apologies to Bergman/Bergman/Legrand). Having spent the first part of the year looking after Vicky and nursing and supporting her through the bastard disease that is cancer; having pushed every sinew to breaking point; having challenged every emotional and psychological barrier to limits I had no idea I could ever reach, I'm still here. Vicky isn't! Her death on Friday 13th April was the tragic and untimely end to a beautiful, fun filled and unique life. But, I am still here! And, mainly due to the legacy of experiences together that Vicky has left for me, I intend to be here for some time to come.
No more working days...for the moment. Having accepted voluntary redundancy, I am what is euphemistically known as 'a man of leisure'. Its 3pm and so far today I've walked Inca, moved some bricks, sorted out some personal administration and played guitar...loudly and badly!! Do I feel good? No, not really! Do I feel bad? Most of the time, no! To steal a phrase, 'I have days and I have bad days'. Learning to live with someone is hard enough. Learning to live without them after 32 years is like learning to ride a bike all over again. Just when you think you have it sussed, you fall off, smack your head on the pavement and cry. Not just from the pain, but from the shear injustice of what has just happened to you. So, then I try to put this into perspective. What can I change, what can I influence and what do I have no, or little, control over.
I've spent half of my professional career helping other people manage change. And now, here I am, teaching myself my own lessons (and, I hope, remembering many more learned from those around me!). When such tremendous and tumultuous circumstances force change to happen, it is so easy to feel the need to reverse into a deep, dark place and hide, for fear of what this change might bring and for fear of not knowing how to even start engaging with it. This assumes that you aren't filled with the desire to kick against it, reject it or simply try and ignore it till it goes away! When I started to find my time to reflect and consider, I was reminded of elephants! One of the wisest (or should that be 'most wise') things said to me was 'don't try to eat one whole!'.
So I have started slicing my elephant into bite sized chunks. Some, I have neatly wrapped and put in the freezer (yes it is big!). They can wait until another day. Some I have shared with friends and family - a bit of a shock for the vegetarians! - for, as anyone will know, an elephant shared is an elephant halved! Some of it I have thrown out as tasteless, unpalatable or useless. And some I have in front of me now just waiting for me to make a start!
Now, the elephant is no longer in the room not being noticed! It is expertly(!) butchered and jointed and ready to be enjoyed...over time. Vicky can't be with me to enjoy it, but I can take Vicky wherever I like, because, like the elephant's foot, the imprint that she has left on me, and so many other people, is indelible. I have, at least metaphorically, packed my trunk (ooo! Cheap pun) and am now getting ready to take on my future and whatever it may hold. I know that I will have the support of so many beautiful people along the way and thank you in advance. I hope that as many people as want to will join me on this journey '...north and south and east and west of my life!'.
By the way, does anyone know what you do with the parson's nose!!
Okay, so here goes! My first foray into the world of the blog. So let's start with 'Why am I here'! Well, having lost my life partner and my job in the space of a fortnight, I find myself facing a very different future from the one I was predicting in the Autumn of 2011. Having had the power of decision making over the key aspects of my life somewhat ripped from my grasp, I now have to face a 'brave new world' that consists of being a single 50 year old man with no job and a black Labrador called Inca.
So, what have I decided to do? Well, start a blog for one thing. Travel and see friends and family for a second and...well maybe learn a bit about this 'brave new world' and what it has to offer.
I've started formulating my plans for some short term activities and will use the next few months to 'find myself' and come up with a strategy to take on the rest of life in due course. If you would like to follow this, then please feel free to watch my blog and see where life leads me. I can't guarantee it will be well written, interesting, humorous or thought provoking, but I would like to think I can achieve a near approximation of those attributes. It might even descend into dark and dismal, though I hope that it will still fulfill my earlier expectations. Above all I hope that other people can take something from my experiences that will help them to handle their own demons and see life in a positive and fulfilling light.
Along the way, I will be learning how to manage a blog, so watch this space, as they say. I hope that your experience of it is one that matches my intentions!
